The most offbeat Time Management tips for you to get twice as much done. I know you’ll get a chuckle or two from them.

• Don’t buy an address book and fill it out. Instead, get a copy of the white pages from your local telephone company and cross out the names you don’t need.
• Support cloning.
• Watch the television program “60 Minutes” in half an hour.
• Always use twice as much grass seed as the directions call for and
grow twice the grass.
• Use a large scrub brush to brush your teeth.
• Shower for twice as much time on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and
you can skip Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays.
• Catch two colds at a time and take only half the sick days.
• Go to bed dressed, ready to start your next day.
• Keep one eye closed during the day and you’ll only have to sleep half as much time.
• Have twins.
• Ski downhill twice as fast as you are used to and get it over with in half the time.
• Buy Double-Mint gum.
• Only go out on a double date.
• Listen to your politicians and learn how to be better at double talk.
• At the beach, roll across the sand and tan your front and back at the same time.
• When angry, slam the door twice so you won’t have to do it the next time you get angry.
• Only look at every other word and read twice as fast.
• I know cookies should be baked at 350 degrees, but try cooking them at
700 degrees in half the time.
• Pack twice as much as you need when traveling.
• Play your CD’s and DVD’s in the Fast Forward mode.
• Eat your dessert while eating your main course.
• When writing, always use both hands at the same time.
• Have a double set of speakers for your sound system and you will listen to twice as much.
• On rainy days, leave the umbrella home and then you can skip your shower the next day.
• If you are a golfer, hit two balls at the same time.
• When you make a big mistake, be sure to have two excuses why you goofed, to get you out of trouble twice as fast.
• At a birthday party, leave off singing the second half of the “Happy Birthday” song.
• Fish with two poles.
• Cut off half the buttons on your shirts and blouses and you will be able to button what’s left in half the time.
• Bet on the Daily Double.
• Dig a hole with two shovels.
• Use two bars of soap when you wash and get it done in half the time.
• Always wear a sweater so you don’t have to spend time looking for one when you really need one.
• Tip 30% rather than 15% at the restaurant and enjoy twice the service.