Just Say “No”

Just Say “No”

By Dr. Donald E. Wetmore

I used to put everyone else’s requests and needs first and if there wasany time left over at the end of the day for what I needed and wanted todo, that was acceptable. That is until I began to realize that if youand I are going to be effective time managers, we have to stay away fromallocating our time solely on the basis of those who demand it.

Instead,if you and I are going to be effective time managers, we have toallocate our time on the basis of those who deserve it.I don’t mean this in any negative or arrogant way. It’s just you havelimits to the amount of time you have to spend and so one of the mostpowerful words in your Time Management vocabulary is the word, “no”.

Almost everyone you encounter will think they have a better idea abouthow you should be spending your time. It doesn’t make others bad. It’sjust the way the world works. If there is a void in your Time Managementlife, someone, or many for that matter, will jump in to fill that spot.

The problem is that they do not have the full understanding of where youare taking your life and if you keep saying “yes”, they will continue totake up your time, possibly keeping you from accomplishing what youreally want to do.“No” is sometimes difficult to say because you have been taughtdifferently. You have been taught to say, “Yes”, to please, to serve,and to accommodate.

There is nothing wrong with saying “yes” most of thetime, but occasionally there is a line you choose not to cross, whensaying “yes” is really not the best use of your time to get you to whereyou need and want to be.If you had unlimited amounts of time, you could “yes” all the time toeveryone. But you don’t.

You have 24 hours each day, 7 days a week for atotal of 168 hours. And you get to spend that time only once, so youhave to spend it wisely.I have listed seventeen ways here to say “no”. Don’t let me put thewords in your mouth. Take the ones you like, change them around and youuse the words that are comfortable for you.

The point is, if you areever in a position when you can never say “no”, then you are alwayssaying “yes”, and like the song says, “If you don’t stand for something,you will fall for everything”.Try these:

“I’m sorry. That’s not a priority for me right now.”
“I can’t help you on this now, but I can get to it next week. Would thatbe okay?”
“I have so much on my plate now I don’t know when I can get to it. But Ido know someone over here who can help you now.”
“Before I take this on for you, let me show you a few things so that youmight be able to do it yourself.”
“I have made so many commitments to others, it would be unfair to themand you if I took on anything more at this point.”
“If I can’t give you a ride to the school dance on Friday, how elsewould you get there safely?”“I don’t know how soon I can help you on this, but I will get back toyou as soon as I am able to help you.”
“I’m sure we’re close enough that when I say “no” you’ll understand it’sfor a good reason.”
“Sure I can help you with your request as long as we both agree andunderstand that the item I agreed to do for you yesterday is going tohave to wait.”
“Before I take this over from you, what do you think we ought to doabout it?”
“I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is, I sure can do thatfor you. The bad news is, I’m so overloaded with everything else, I’vebecome delirious and have been
lying about my commitments.”
“When I get overwhelmed like I am now, I remove every third person whoasks me for something, from my “Good Friends List” and the second personjust left.”
“No.”
“Thanks for thinking to ask me, but, no thanks.”
“I would like to help you out on this but you understand I don’t havethe resources available to do the right job for you.”
“Now that’s the type of thing I would love to help you on if only I hadthe time.”
“Just like you, I get overloaded sometimes and have to tell some veryspecial people, “no”. This is one of those times.”

And as you speak, smile.