Jika Terjebak Di Dalam Debat

Jika Terjebak Di Dalam Debat

Kita bisa saja terjebak dalam suatu transaksi bicara yang mengarah ke bentuk-bentuk perdebatan. Hal terbaik yang bisa dilakukan dalam kondisi seperti ini, adalah sesegera mungkin keluar dari sana.Berikut ini adalah prinsip-prinsip dalam berdebat.

ATURAN DASAR
HINDARI DEBAT SEKALIPUN ANDA BERADA DI POSISI YANG BENAR.

ATURAN # 1
Debat hanya dibenarkan untuk mencari kebenaran. Apa yang paling benar adalah ATURAN DASAR.

ATURAN # 2
Tidak masalah kebenaran itu muncul dari mulut siapa.
Bisa dari mulut Anda, bisa juga dari mulut lawan bicara Anda. In both cases, accept it.

ATURAN # 3
Pilihlah untuk melakukannya secara tertutup atau menyendiri berdua saja.

ATURAN # 4
Perbedaan tidak bisa dihindari dalam berbagai hubungan dengan orang lain. Jalani dengan bijak.

ATURAN # 5
Hadapi perilaku atau sikapnya, bukan manusianya.

ATURAN # 6
Jangan terapkan "psi-war" atau "mental game".

ATURAN # 7
Dasari argumentasi dengan isu yang ada di tangan. Jangan bawa masa lalu dan masa depan. Fokuslah pada "right here' dan "right now".

ATURAN # 8
Beranilah meminta maaf, bersikaplah terhormat, berjiwa besar dan empatik. Jika lawan bicara yang meminta maaf, terimalah dengan jiwa besar.

ATURAN # 9
Debat dan bicara bukan obat. Makin banyak bicara tidak menjamin kondisi yang lebih baik. Yang lebih baik adalah berdoa dan melatih cara berpikir. Bicara baik atau diam. Bijaksanalah dalam menentukan "when", "where" dan "how".

ATURAN # 10
Debatlah hanya poin-poin yang terkait langsung dengan perbaikan. Jangan terjebak dalam perilaku mempermalukan, menghina atau menghancurkan.

ATURAN # 11
Bertanggungjawablah untuk emosi dan perasaan Anda sendiri. Orang lain TIDAK DAPAT membuat Anda marah, senang atau gila. Anda sendiri yangmenciptakannya.Katakan "Saya tidak setuju", jangan katakan "Anda salah".Katakan "Saya kaget Anda mengatakannya. Tapi sepertinya itu tidak benar", jangan katakan "Anda melukai saya".Katakan "Anda datang tidak sesuai dengan yang kita sepakati", jangan katakan "Anda telat".

ATURAN # 12
Untuk segala sesuatu, ada waktunya. Kritik harus konstruktif. Perkenankan lawan bicara menyelamatkan muka.

ATURAN # 13
Kompromi atau kompetisi hanya me-manage konflik. Kolaborasi-lah yang menyelesaikannya.

ATURAN # 14
Selalu ada yang lebih besar dari diri kita sendiri. Di atas langit ada langit. Jika tidak sanggup mengatasi konflik, manfaatkan konsultan, penasehat atau pakar.

ATURAN # 15
Jika belum sanggup melaksanakan aturan-aturan di atas, kembalilah ke ATURAN DASAR.

Sumber : milis bicarahttp://groups.yahoo.com/group/bicara/

Developing a Great Character

Developing a Great Character

By Brian TracyWhat is character? Your character is the degree to whichyou live your life consistent with high, life-enhancingvalues. A person who lacks character is one whocompromises on higher order values in favor of lower orderexpedience, or who has no values at all. Your adherence towhat you believe to be right and true is the real measureof the person you have become to this moment.

The Value of Excellence

Let us say that one of your values is "excellence." Yourdefinition of excellence could be, "Excellence means thatI set the highest standards for myself in everything I do.I do my very best in every situation and under allcircumstances. I constantly strive to be better in my work,and as a person in my relationships.

I recognize thatexcellence is a life long journey and I work every dayto become better and better in everything I do."Your Organizing PrinciplesWith a definition like this, you have a clear organizingprinciple for your actions. You have set a standard bywhich you can evaluate your behavior. You have created aframework within which you can make decisions. You have ameasuring rod against which you can compare yourself ineverything you do. You can continually grade youractivities in terms of "more" or "less."

You have a clear target to aim at and organize your work around.Put Your Family FirstIt's the same with each of your other values. If yourvalue is your family, you could define this as, "The needsof my family take precedence over all other concerns.Whenever I have to choose between the happiness, healthand well being of a member of my family, and any otherinterest, my family will always come first."

Choices Are Easier

From that moment onward, it becomes easier for you tochoose. Your family comes first. Until you have fullysatisfied the needs of your family, no other timerequirement will side track you into a lower valueactivity.

Take Charge of Your Own Character

DevelopmentThe wonderful thing about values clarification is thatit enables you to take charge of developing and shapingyour own character. When your values and goals, yourinner life and your outer life, are in complete alignment,you feel terrific about yourself. You enjoy highself-esteem. Your self-confidence soars. When you achievecomplete congruence between your values and your goals,like a hand in a glove, you feel strong, happy, healthyand fully integrated as a person.

You develop a kind ofcourage that makes you completely unafraid to makedecisions and take action. Your whole life improves whenyou begin living your life by the values that you mostadmire.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do immediately to put theseideas into action.First, create a clear, written description of your valuesand what they mean to you. From that point on, resolve tolive consistent with your own definition.Second, discipline yourself to live in complete alignmentwith the values, virtues and qualities that are mostimportant to you.
This is the key to character.

source : www.motivasi-islami.com

Bad Hiring Comes Home to Roost

Bad Hiring Comes Home to Roost

Your poor judgment, and that of the leaders you helped foster, may have greater consequences than your own embarrassment. According to the results of a study released last month by Right Management (www.right.com), a Philadelphia-based career transition and organizational consulting firm, bad hiring and promotion decisions come with a significant aftermath.

The survey of 444 organizations throughout North America showed that lower employee morale and decreased productivity are the biggest consequences of these less-than-stellar choices. Sixty-eight percent of survey respondents cited employee morale as a result of these decisions; 66 percent said decreased employee productivity was a consequence; 54 percent linked shoddy hiring and promotion choices to lost customers and market share; and 51 percent said not hiring and promoting properly means higher training costs. And, that’s not the only cost.

Human resources gurus, trainers and organizational leaders who don’t think carefully before making their next appointment could cost their companies money in other areas as well—especially when direct reports decide to hit the road. Forty-four percent of leaders, for instance, said bad hiring decisions result in higher recruitment costs, and 40 percent cited higher severance costs. And the costs related to those lost employees keep on adding up.

Recruitment, training, severance and lost productivity may add up to two times the employee’s annual salary, 42 percent of those surveyed said; 26 percent said it amounted to three times the employee’s annual salary; 11 percent cited costs up to five times the employee’s annual salary; and 6 percent said it’s four times his or her salary. Fifteen percent said it’s about equal to what the employee would have made in a year—had they stayed, of course.

Source: INSIDE TRAINING

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A WORKAHOLIC

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A WORKAHOLIC

By: Dr. Donald E. Wetmore

Many wonder what it takes to be a workaholic. Now I’m not suggesting
that being a workaholic is either a good thing or a bad thing but maybe
it’s useful to determine if we are. There is really no one thing that
would make one automatically qualify but after twenty years as a
full-time Professional Speaker I have been able to unearth some of the
symptoms.

If it frustrates you that they don’t allow laptops on a Ferris wheel,
you may be a workaholic.

If you are looking forward to Christmas this year because you’ll decide
to take that afternoon off, you might be a workaholic.

If you don’t drink any beverages during the day because you’ll lose time
having to go to the bathroom, you might be a workaholic.

If a Pay-Per-View movie is your idea of a vacation, then you just might
be a workaholic.

If twenty minutes is too long for a lunch “hour”, you might be a
workaholic.

If hobbies are something you will get into when you “get the time”, you
may be a workaholic.

If the only time you’ve had off in the last three years was to attend
your favorite uncle’s funeral, you might be a workaholic.

If you wish you weren’t so stressed but know that you will feel better
as soon as you “get over the hump”, you might be a workaholic.

If the color of one side of your golf bag has faded and is different
from the other side of the bag, you might be a workaholic.

If you promised your spouse “this is the only Sunday I’ll work” more
than three times in the last year, you might just be a workaholic.

If you bring your spreadsheets to your son’s football game, you may be a
workaholic.

If you sense that the smiles from those around you are somewhat
synthetic, you might be a workaholic.

If you’ve told yourself, “I can cut back of my hours anytime, if I
wanted to” more than three times in the last six months, you might be a
workaholic.

If you use your cell phone in the shower to return business calls in the
morning before work, you might just be a workaholic.

If you don’t have a tan by July 15 each year, you may be a workaholic.

If it’s difficult to remember the last time you heard background music
at a restaurant, you might be a workaholic.

If you set your alarm for 2:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. so you can check your
voicemail, well, you just might be a workaholic.

If it bothers you that you are always at work before and after everyone
else, you might be a workaholic.

If you can’t name your daughter’s favorite rock band, you just might be
a workaholic.

If elderly people tend to make you impatient, you might just be a
workaholic.

If people at cocktail parties seem to want to leave your conversation
and “get another glass of wine” just when you were really getting into
telling them about your job, well, you just might be a workaholic.

If it’s been a while since you felt guilty about missing yet another
family dinner, you might be a workaholic.

If you carry family pictures in your wallet only to remind you what they
look like, you might be a workaholic.

If you’re drinking your coffee in a dirty cup from yesterday, you just
might be a workaholic.

If you haven’t gone home early in the last six months, you might be a
workaholic.

If your idea of an intimate anniversary celebration is to take your
spouse to a formal business dinner, you might be a workaholic.

If a clown is not so funny, an owl is not so wise, and you think that
Peter Pan cannot really fly, you might be a workaholic.

If the last outrageous thing you did was over ten years ago, you might
be a workaholic.

If a three-year-old girl holding a fluffy bunny under her arm doesn’t
cause you to stop and watch, well, you just might be a workaholic.